


Cold

by BlueMotherLion3124



Series: Merthur Week 2020 [5]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst and Feels, Heavy Angst, Hurt Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Hurt Merlin (Merlin), I am very sorry, M/M, a lot of it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-26
Updated: 2020-12-26
Packaged: 2021-03-10 16:26:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 386
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28330116
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlueMotherLion3124/pseuds/BlueMotherLion3124
Summary: Arthur’s voice sounded so... wrong. It sounded harsh, angry, defeated, betrayed. Even his eyes (his beautiful, beautiful, clear blue eyes) looked harsh and cold. Arthur always had a fire with him. Be it a fire sparked of anger or passion, Merlin could always find some kind of flame alight in his king’s eyes. Never cold.
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Series: Merthur Week 2020 [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2068014
Comments: 8
Kudos: 40
Collections: Merthur Week 2020





	Cold

**Author's Note:**

> Day 5 and I am late because it took me a while to write something angsty. So, I hope y’all enjoy!
> 
> Prompt: “Any other lies left to tell me?” + Angst

  
  


“You knew?”

Merlin flinched at the tone. Arthur’s voice sounded so... _wrong._ It sounded harsh, angry, defeated, betrayed. Even his eyes (his beautiful, beautiful, clear blue eyes) looked harsh and cold. Arthur always had a fire with him. Be it a fire sparked of anger or passion, Merlin could always find some kind of flame alight in his king’s eyes. Never cold. Never dimmed and hollowed out like it is now.

“You knew exactly what happened to my mother,” he breathes out. Merlin notices how tightly clenched Arthur’s jaw is, how white his knuckles have become. 

“You...you knew and yet--” Arthur sucks in a deep breath and Merlin can only stand before him. Frozen still and unresponsive. “--you _lied_ to my face. She was my _mother_ , and when you said it was all...” His hands are gripping the table now, and Merlin can see the slight tremor, see how close he is to falling apart. His own heart aches to be near him. To hold his king like he’s done many times before, but Merlin knows that he won’t be able to now.

“When you said,” his voice trembles, “that it was all an illusion...I _believed_ you! I _trusted_ you! I thought--”

“Arthur.” Merlin steps forward. He can’t take this. This pain. The betrayal on Arthur’s face, and not even for the truth he’s always feared. 

Arthur’s face crumbles. Then darkens as he covers his mouth. 

“You need to leave,” he says with as much resolve as the king can muster. Which, unfortunately, isn’t a lot. It cracks, and Merlin doesn’t have the heart to disobey. Not this time.

He takes one last look at his king.

Cold. So very cold. Unlike any he’s ever known. And he was the reason for it. _T_ _his is all my fault. You caused this._

“Unless,” Arthur's eyes are so harsh, and Merlin feels like he's been stabbed. “You have any more lies to tell me?”

_Yes. Yes, I do, and I’ve been wanting to tell you for so long._

He stays silent, though. Arthur is hurt enough. He can’t tell him. Not now. If he does, Merlin will lose him. Lose his king. Lose _Arthur._ So he stays silent. 

Arthur sighs resigned. His shoulders slump, and his face is carefully blank.

“Leave me.”

And Merlin does. 

**Author's Note:**

> To make you feel better, I am also in pain. (Maybe I'll resolve this later when I have the chance! Who knows?)
> 
> If you liked it, leave a kudo and/or comment!


End file.
